Beatrice is waiting for your leters by e-mail at beatricenica@hotmail.com or by ordinary mail at CP 34-56, Bucharest, Romania. For free of charge counselling, call 01/252 16 37 fdor an appointment.

Florin:
 1.Is it true that, if a man has a brother, he or his brother are more likely to be gay than if he had a sister?
 2. What causes homosexuality? Americans would like to believe  that "it's a genetic stuff" (as [extremist party leader] C.V. Tudor said on Florin Calinescu's TV show [on ProTV] on Friday October 27, when he was asked about his opinion on homosexuality). I think that it would be good for gays if this theory were proven right. 
 3. Is it possible that one can shift from a sexual orientation to another when he is 25?
 4. Do you think that there are blind gays too? I wonder how they could form a relationship. 

1. There is no statistical evidence that should confirm this theory. I took several interviews for my diploma/degree paper, and I noticed that most of the interviewees (they were all males) had a brother, but their small number does not constitute a scientific proof. 
2. There are several theories regarding this issue, either constitutional, genetic, parent-related (see Freud), analytical, etc. No matter the theory, one thing is certain: homosexuality is innate and can be found in the innermost intimate structures of the personality. 
3. I don think that one can change her or his sexual orientation at a certain age. This is also proven by the fact that homosexuality is innate and cannot be "learnt" by means of imitation.
4. When one sense is not there, either by accident or by birth, the other sensorial abilities shall compensate its absence - remember the movie "Scent of a Woman"...
 

Claudiu V.: 
I am 19; this summer I came out to my parents and ever since nothing is the same, they've been treating me like hell. Everything's changed sice then... I am not the same person, I cannot even recognise myself, I tend to believe that there's no hope for me - I am desperate. I know you have psychologists at the association, maybe you could help me. Thank you in advance. 

Dear Claudiu, you've made the big step already - coming out to your parents, that is. It's very hard for a mother or a father to accept that their son/daughter is different from the others. Maybe in time they will come to understand this. You're saying that you have changed, what exactly do you mean? If you tell me more, maybe together we could find a way to help you, to bring peace in your soul. I will be waiting for you at the office, from Tuesday to Friday between 3-6 pm. If you cannot come, let's continue the counselling by e-mail. 

V., aged 37: Until now, I have had two relationships, that lasted 5 and 8 years respectively. Actually I think I'm the only one who considered them relationships, the others just took them as means of not wasting time. The question then coes naturally: why did they last so much? I myself cannot answer this question. Within a couple (because I believe that gays can form couples too), both men need lots of trust, honesty, and communication. Everybody says that I'm so lucky with these long-lasting relationships. I wonder. I'm not wondering because I have no boyfriend now, but because they did not seem to be as open as I was at the time. The second relationship isn't over yet actually, because he's still looking for me (only when he needs me!). It's awful to realise that, after 8 years, he is looking for you only when he needs something from you. When I tried to discuss this with him, he said "let's do this some other time". This "some other time" never happened. Am I weird or is it true that such a relationship is destined not to last? Aren't gays able to form a "family"? I have not written to you because I need treatment or anything, it's only for refulation reasons. 

Dear V., we all have our own wishes and expectations when starting a relationship. Often, our expectations are so high that they can make us blind. As a matter of fact, you're trying to shape the other into what you want him to become, and thus you cannot see him as he actually is. Your sould needs to communicate (as you have already pointed out), not treatment indeed. That's why I am here. Write me again soon, will you?